Trials come, that’s why we’re on this Earth. I’m a person who likes to have control over the outcome of my life…as a youth I lost my parents by the time I was eleven. That was really difficult as you can imagine. After they passed, I felt I had no control over my life or over my future. I felt alone, I felt trapped, I felt abandoned and ultimately, I felt I was an orphan for the rest of my life, no longer a daughter to anyone..completely abandoned.
In my mind, orphans were poor, they often smell and wear ragged clothing, they are despised and unloved. That’s exactly how I let myself feel, and it explains why I covered my grief and pain of abandonment with humor and sarcasm. Humorous people are loved, at least I thought they were. I figured if anyone really knew how dark and deep my feelings and inadequacies were, they definitely wouldn’t love me.
Over time, I have been reminded through much prayer and incredible love and support from my sweet husband, that I am indeed not an “orphan”, I am a child of God. I have been supported throughout my life by amazing siblings and extended family, my In-Laws became my “parents” again, my Seminary and Institute teachers, Young Women Leaders, and dear friends have all blessed me with so much love.
Of course, there are times when we all feel abandoned or lost. That’s when we need to have increased faith, to fast and pray and search the scriptures for patience & understanding. Living on this Earth isn’t learning to have control over our future, it’s learning to TURN the control of our lives and futures over to the Lord and trust in His will for us.
That’s why I love this scripture so much from Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”
I’m planning to re-do our bedroom in soft greys and yellows, I wanted this scripture framed on my “gallery wall”… next to my favorite picture of the Savior.
I pray it helps others like me who need a reminder that the Lord knows all we need. We just have to trust Him, and seek for His help.
These printable Subway art files comes in various sizes including: 10×8, 14×11, 20×16, & 24×36 (Engineering Print – just upload to Staples). I’ve also included in each of the files, individual pngs of the subway art for you to add to your own papers or color styles. These are free for Personal Use only! Enjoy. Much Love, Andi
Download 24×36 Engineering Print